One of the pleasures of my interior design profession was specialty shopping for my clients. Every client loves that one-of-a-kind motif especially when it’s a bargain item. Most were as precise as pretty. But it still had to blend in with the décor. That’s where the challenge began. It was usually very difficult and sometimes stressful to build an entire room around it.
What about you? Have you ever in some ways bought that motif— the irrelevant, the trivial, the inauthentic, and even that fabricated and unfitting specialty item and installed it in the rooms of your life and try to blend in with everything else?
I certainly have.
If you have, maybe you feel there are ill proportions, weaknesses, or confused areas in your life that are keeping you from believing that you measure up. Have you acquired some unorthodox cultural archetypes and suggestions along the way that you’ve felt pressured to embody instead of believing you’re fine just as you are?
Perchance you’ve pulled back on completing a project, or your restlessness has caused you to move from idea to idea, job to job or business to business. The circumstance or event possibly caused you to blow things out of proportion. And then you identify with it. Now the rest of your life is built around it.
You are choreographing your life to house these circumstances. The results — you relinquish your authority and power over to them.
I’ve done this too.
Designing our lives this way is imbalanced, disharmonic, has no rhythm and is out of order.
In spite of the setbacks or stops and goes, there are basic concepts that must precede our personal growth.
Moving Forward In Life In Spite Of
We must decide what our lives were created to be and how to best use our potential.
1. Know your truest self. Base your truth on your God-given worth, talents, abilities and gifts. Remove yourself from false, worldly ideology or philosophy that changes your perspective and alters your individuality. Designing your life means not only understanding who you are, but also why you are who you are. God says, “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart.” It is wise to seek your truth there.
Action Item: Stop right now and write a list of everything you’ve noticed about yourself. What makes you laugh, cry, angry, excited. Dr. David Ireland said something similar: What frustrates you? What issues do you constantly find yourself championing? List them and highlight the ones about which you have the greatest conviction and them commit to championing them.
2. Know your deepest values. You must assign genuine value to who you are. Life values should be clearly established in your mind and regularly updated based on changing circumstances and lessons learned over time. I highly value my time with God, in stillness, with family, of service to others, and for fitness to name a few. Because of these I can easily create the core values of my business. Knowing this will keep you focused on what’s important so not to be steered in an inappropriate direction thus wasting time, energy and life.
Action Item: Either early mornings or after things quiet down at night, think about your most important current values and list them in a ranking order—from most important to least. Think about which ones you would trade off in the event of a contradiction. Focused values will keep you grounded in spite of any unforeseen agitations.
3. Know your highest visions. The truth in “Where there is no vision the people perish” is profound and reflective. By anchoring knee-deep in a focused-purpose, you’ll stay motivated and centered on the important things for you to be involved in. Every activity, seminar, course, recreation or life association should connect with your vision. By doing this you will stop trying to do everything for everyone.
Action Item: Declutter your head. What big thing is missing from your life? What will satisfy your thirsty heart. Dr. Myles Munroe says it this way: Decide you have had enough of being normal. You were created to accomplish something that no one else can accomplish. Never expect anything less than the highest thing you can go after.
You can retreat at every nagging lie that’s in your head and turn tail at any obstacle; or you can search the world over for inspiration to live your life. But until you recognize and appreciate that what is truly required to ‘move forward in spite of’ lies within you, you will never find it.
These are crucial components of living by design. In spite of life’s curve balls and pitfalls, be a life learner. Never stop seeking your truest self, your deepest values, your genuine integrity, and highest visions. You will feel the right textures, admire the true colors and evaluate the best accessories so the rooms of your life will be filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Do that today and experience your private turn on HGTV.
Question: Which of these moving forward tips speak to your heart? Where do you find yourself when there’s a contradiction in happiness? Leave a comment below. I’d love to read your thoughts.
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LifeDesign Specialist and Catalyst Dr. Deana Murphy helps modern high-achieving women DesignWith™, bring order to chaos and make life easier. Get Dr. Deana’s ‘25 Mistakes the High-Achieving Woman Makes that Will Kill Her Success’ and other free downloads at DeanaMurphyGlobal.com